Take A F@#$ing Road Trip!

Dear leaders of the United States of America, Take A F@#$ing Road Trip! 

I was on a road trip this past weekend, and while driving, I got to thinking about the state of America and why we, the people, are so angry at politicians on both sides. It’s because they don’t know us at all. 

They live in gilded towers, looking down on us all. They act smarter, though if you listen to many of them talk, they are no smarter than my dog, and she has been on a road trip recently. 

We, the people of the United States, understand and have things we love about the United States. Many of us are looking at those in power in Washington, and I am talking about nearly all those in power who have come to realize they have lost complete touch with what it is like to be an American. They do not even recognize anymore what it is like to want to be an American. America is a special place. We have a massive number of problems—this is not to pretend we don’t—but this writing is not about those things. It is about the fact that our leadership—some of it—has never had their Jack Kerouac moment, and it shows. 

JD Vance

Our current Vice President tried to tell us that, as Kendrick Lamar would say, he is not like us. He could not even correctly order a donut while on the campaign trail, let alone enjoy it. We laughed and made fun, but we did not take to heart that he was telling us that he did not relate to the people of this country. Those who grab a donut and coffee regularly, but when they travel, they find the most amazing donuts in the country. They buy a dozen, regardless of whether there is one person or an entire RV full. We take them back to hotels and campgrounds and enjoy a donut we have never had anywhere else like it was our first. 

I discovered that donut a few years ago as my mom and I road-tripped Highway 61 around The Great Lake Superior. In Grand Marais, we fell upon the World’s Best Donuts(the shop name and maybe the truth). After our first taste, we grabbed more just to have them with coffee the next day somewhere on the shores of Lake Superior. 

Elon Musk

He owns a car company, but can you see Elon Musk driving his car across this fantastic country? Could you see him red-lining his vehicle on the straight, flat roads of North Dakota or Montana? Is he the kind of guy who would drive 100 MPH toward the mountains of one of the greatest National Parks in our vast array of parks? When he first saw Glacier Park, would he lose his breath from its beauty? Would he slow down to see the grizzly bear eating berries or honk and drive by quickly?  

Does Musk have the ability to get up at 5 a.m. just to be the first to drive the Going—to-the-sun Road that day? Would he stop and watch the sunrise over the mountains, stand nearly 7000 feet in the air, and see the world in a totally different light.

We, the people of the United States, enjoy our national parks year-round, and around 330 million people visited those parks last year alone. Musk sees nothing in our national parks besides natural resources he can make a buck off of. He sees no beauty in this country other than money. Far too many of us Americans see more. Many of us have driven roads from the Everglades to Yosemite, and our politics have never stopped us from seeing the absolute wonder of the natural beauty of America. Are we the people really going to let a guy who has never been on an excellent road trip take these things from us? 

Donald Trump

Donald Trump has no friends. He has people that hang around. There are people he has paid for to be in his life in one way or another. But does he have real true friends? The kind of friends who would load up dirt bikes and four-wheelers and spend a weekend playing in the dirt? Is he the guy who would break 10 tow chains before he helped you get your 4×4 out of a mud puddle? 

Has he ever talked about his Jeep, tricked it out so he could win a prize, or just bragging rights at a Jeep event? Did he and his dad ever tinker with an old Bronco, hook a fishing boat to the back, and head out to set camp at a lake to catch walleyes for the weekend. Has he ever driven for miles or looked forward all year to that vacation that includes a Friday night fish fry.

Has he ever set out on a motorcycle ride to some town called Sturgis, stopping, eating, drinking in “dive bars,” and sleeping in a tent? Stretching your legs at historical markers. You know he hasn’t because he thinks those things are less than. well, he is wrong. They are all wrong. Those things are American. They are what make the people of this nation special because no matter who we have voted for, these are the things we do together. 

The Left Is No Better

Do you think the Pelosis and Schumers of the world are more like us, the people, or more like Trump/Musk and Vance? 

When did you last see Pelosi drive to a girl’s weekend at a dusty cabin with a firepit and endless prosecco and gummies? Staying up all night talking shit about kids and spouses and how cute some of you still think Donnie Wahlberg is. 

Do you think Chuck Schumer ever tells his buddies to plan on going to see the Buckeyes, Wolverines, or Ducks play football and that beer and wings are the fuel for a sleepless weekend? 

I Market spices to guys who turn on their smokers early in the morning and tend to what is cooking inside, like each piece of meat or cheese is a child getting ready to be birthed. Can anyone of us see any of the above people shooting the shit with the home version of a pit master until the brisket is done? 

If your answer is no, stop fighting each other for a second and get to know the people around you. Build a community. Offer mutual aid to your neighbors who are hurting or need help. Most importantly, figure out how to join the revolution of people who have had enough of billionaires and politicians who have never been on a good old-fashioned road trip.